Ellen Million (ellenmillion) wrote,
Ellen Million

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What a nice beginning to the weekend. :)


Got up about nine, starving, ate a microwave dish, checked and weeded my email (no answers, just keeping the junk thinned out), and then crawled back under the covers with my sweetie. Got up several hours later. Marvelous. I love my life. At least on weekends.

I think I need coffee. *yawns*

I drew last night, working more on that Ressa piece I thought I'd already finished. I wasn't. :P It's even better now... richer and cleaner. I think it still needs a little more attention in the stone background. I'm going in to town today, so hopefully I'll have a chance to scan.

Speaking of art,

Now, I don't mean I suck, but good heavens, I don't think I'm that good. I'm pleased with my progress, and I like my stuff, but then I find my name listed in with Stephanie's and Ursula's as a favorite artist, and I find myself picking my jaw off the desk.

There's levels of good, and I'm just not in that bracket yet.

Geez, half my friendslist and most of my EMG artists are as if not much better than I. They don't as a rule produce quite as obsessively as I do, or at least, I don't see it, but I'd kill to be able to shade like Jennie or have half her sense of anatomy, or use texture like Marie, or steal the rich colors of Gretchen's work, or Sylver's action, or produce those awesome skyscapes Lisa makes and... well, there's tons more, but if I try to name all of you I'm going to forget someone because I'm still all sleepy and you'll feel mortally offended and I'll kick myself for a week when I figure it out.

The point is, I'm not *there* yet, in that upper circle of truly talented, professional-level artists. It surprises and amazes and tickles and embarrases and inspires me all at once when I find my name unexpectedly used in lists of *real* artists.

The insecure part of me wonders if I'm only there because I've got a big name thanks to my business. (Big name... hahahaha... that wasn't an intensional pun)

Must work harder... I'll be there someday.

Blech. Still have some technical-type writing to do and that T-shirt design to finish. And orders to fill. And webpage stuff to do. And my sister and her two small kids are camping out at my parents house. I like them, but it's distracting. I can't wait to have my office out here. This is a DRAG.

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