Listen up, Ellen! You're behind on everything! I don't want to hear your petulant excuses about 'I had to work,' or 'I had a show,' or any of that usual crap you give me. You can do more than this! You've wasted plenty of time, you slacker. You've spent more time whining about your lack of time than you needed to accomplish half your to-do list, you lazy, entitled underachiever! Get your act together, half-wit! You know what you need to do, so buckle down and do it!
Your Nanowrimo count is lame and small! Get that wordcount up!
You haven't been practicing your bellydancing drills, gawky. Your own fault if you trip over your feet in class, clumsy!
Still no TMAS, eh, 'artist?' Yeah, being all foot-dragging on that, too, aren't ya!
Freaking webpage still has no wish list, does it? You think you're so clever with your Frankenstein coding, but you still haven't managed to pull together some of the functions that ought to be basic and aren't. Not feeling so clever now, eh, Einstein?
Down and give me twenty, slackerself!