Ellen Million (ellenmillion) wrote,
Ellen Million
ellenmillion

Fandom

One of things I knew I needed to do for 2008 was prioritize. I can't do it all. Never could, never will, however much I'd like to.

I didn't really let go of anything when I crammed a day job back into my life. Five hours a day lost in commuting and working - but I didn't put anything down to do this, just got a little bit further behind on everything I was still trying to do and protesting 'I can do it, I can do it!'

Well I can't.

I'm crushingly behind just a week into my vacation, and I'm feeling like I will never catch up. And the things I'm feeling the most behind on are the ones that are supposed to be the fun, unwind-y things, like Kadanzer and RTH. I love 'em, I really do. They've been great communities and absolutely gold in refining my skills. But, I've got other projects that aren't getting the energy they need, because I haven't got any left for them. Time to reorganize so that I do.

I realized today that I'd made up my mind about this a long time ago, I'm only wondering now how many of my current commitments I can ditch, and how much of it I can delegate, and how much of what I'm feeling guilty about is justified.

I definitely need to get off the council at RTH - I'm honestly not that enthused about the club and the council needs people who are. It's turned out some great work, but I got drama-ed out awfully early in the project. I adore the other members, and it's decidedly the best EQ fanclub I've ever seen, but wow, what a time-sink. I feel most guilty about the webpage improvements I wanted to put together, but not enough so that I am going to cling to something that is only instilling guilt these days. I can update the webpage occasionally, as I pick through the code for TW. Greenweave honestly doesn't inspire me much, and it will be a while before Honey will be out of wrapstuff. Maybe I'll arrange to come back when she does, but I think that a year off of RTH in whole would be a good thing for me. I've got a secret santa trade due, but am feeling like I'll be able to wiggle out of even that - I never got my trade from last year, and this year haven't gotten one, either... I may just ask that my delayed trade partner do the one I should have.

Kadanzer is harder, in a lot of ways. I don't have as much of a commitment there, which makes it less easy to pinpoint as the timesink that it is. And Resla - my darling Resla! I'm got to tie up the whole V'lar/Resla/D'zan storyline - I've got just one and a half stories to finish and owe it to those four or five folks who are following it to do so. I may try to make it a goal to get that done by the end of next week. I've got it outlined tightly, just need to fill in all the gaps with prose. Again, maybe I'll come back to Kaz in a year. A year is a long time... and yet at the same time not really so very long. I can re-evaluate at that time, and if I've got the time and inspiration, I can go back, and pick it up again with fresh perspective.

This is the right thing for me to do right now. That doesn't mean it's particularly easy.
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