The little pockets of my own success have terrified me. I am scared to death of making promises I cannot keep, or being overwhelmed by tasks I can't complete. I am petrified of depending on people and watching them drift away. I am sick to death of holding back on projects, dragging my feet on advertising and doubting my own ability.
I am better than this, I am stronger than this. I am above stupid high school feelings of 'being excluded' and needing outside validation of my own strengths. I have never regretted (too much) the times I have plowed forward and given it everything - I have always regretted not trying, and not trying hard enough. If my help falls through, I can get other help, or I can do it myself. I refuse to wait until things are easy to give it a shot.
Look out, world! Ellen's giving herself pep talks!