Ellen Million (ellenmillion) wrote,
Ellen Million

Random mememe ending in a lot of random rambling...

Gurked much belatedly from artoftheempath.

Fifteen years ago, I was in that summer between junior high and high school, totally unsure of myself, completely a dork. I wanted to dance and be an actor, and I wanted to join the backetball team. I drew, a little, for fun, but not real seriously. I wanted to write, and did that somewhat seriously. I saw an eye doctor in the lower 48 who warned me to have my retina's inspected when I got back, before I joined a basketball team. (My retinas were detaching, I ended up having icky surgery and being banned from all contact sports for a few years)

Ten years ago, I had broken my back, started my business, graduated high school, enrolled in college, met my husband-to-be, fallen hopelessly in love and had no idea where my life would go. I was sharing an apartment with my friend Melanie, which ended in disaster, and poking unseriously at the business. I gave up writing about that time, because someone honestly told someone else (not knowing I could hear) that it sucked, which it did, and I took it hard.

Five years ago, I was finishing my degree in mechanical engineering, and hating it. I was expanding my business it bits and fits, crammed with Jake in the teensiest cabin imaginable after returning from six months studying overseas. He had finished his degree in civil engineering, I had one darn English class left to take. I was trying – and completely failing – to make a living as a freelance artist. We were looking into buying land.

One year ago, I was working at Design Alaska, getting more and more fed up with the whole 'day job' scene as I got a new boss I wasn't REAL keen on, looking forward to Jennie's yearly visit to do the fair, the house we'd built with much blood and sweat and tears was being sheet-rocked downstairs, and I was my usual workaholic self. A quote from about that time after I spent a day off: “I feel about 3% guilty, 17% tired and 80% nyeener. I can take an afternoon off once in a gray while, right? Okay, maybe 80% guilty, 3% nyeener.” Hmm... sounds like something I'd say...

Yesterday I was not my usual post whore. My back felt good, and I got a lot of work done on the Atlantis book. I filled orders, and went to Shakespeare with Melody. We went to dinner at Collegetown pizza first, and discussed the slim, distant, future possibility of an environmental engineering firm... they'd need a drafter/designer (me!).

Today, I am fiddling around with PA, I FINISHED the Atlantis book (just waiting back for an answer on the thickness for the spine) and I'm debating – take the afternoon off and watch another StarGate? Or go into town and fill non-urgent orders? Hmm... I do have to go into town for water. But it's Friday, and I'm feeling decidedly NYEENER.

Ya know... I've come a LONG way in a relatively short time. I often look at other artists, like Deb and Michele, who've only been painting a YEAR and feel inadequate, but it's not like I've been sitting on my hands, either. We built a HOUSE. I took a teensy busines idea and have nurtured it for twelve years into... well, it's mostly a broken piece of crap right now, but it's a comparitively AMAZING, HUGE broken piece of crap, and the end of the craptasticness is in sight. Close sight! And anyway, that's just the webpage... look at the artistic pool I've tapped! I've written several dozen articles, done hundreds of pieces of art (and improved! If not as fast as I'd like!), written dozens of short stories, got a degree in engineering (come on, not everyone can do that!), travelled around the world, finished a BOOK (a book!!) and taken over the world! Well, not yet. But soon!

July goals revisited:

Finish Jenny/Bjorn rough draft
Finish Veridian
Rough sketch Angles on new paper
Design card back and border for game
One 'other' PA or commissioned piece
Pay Artists, asap
Finish Atlantis book and deliver to printer (waiting!), post final list to EA forum
Add new artists to EMG Lite
Followup emails to INATS contacts
Fairy art article for New Age Retailer
Order to MotherLode - in progress
Secure housing for Jennie. (Tent in yard? :P)
Prep for fair
Plane tickets and hotel for Dragon*Con

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