Jumped through the moneky hoops (turn it off, turn it on, slide the carriage head to center, turn it off, turn it on...)... and I'm going to end up doing a 'full product exchange.'
My NEW new printer should be in early next week.
I suppose the bright side of this is that I did squeeze a bunch of prints out of the ink cartridges I'll be returning... I have to include the cartridges in the printer with the return, but they can't take back what I already put on paper. :P
Windows is having a snit - time for a reboot before starting in on my office projects.