Ellen Million (ellenmillion) wrote,
Ellen Million


Fucking back.

I'm doing nothing... absolutely nothing. Sitting in a chair kinda nothing. Back's been fine for well over a week. I yawn and stretch, 'cause it's morning and ya know, I do frequently yawn and stretch.

And instead of ending up smacking my lips post-yawn as is normal, I am instead gasping for air and clenching fingernails into the chair arms as shooting pains decide to inhabit most of my body between my torso and my knees.

It passes after a moment, and I am hopeful... usually when this happens (and it happens once in a blue moon doing just about nothing... walking across a room, reaching for something, picking up a spoon or something), that's it. I'm sort of sore and nervous the rest of the day, and there's an 'echo' that keeps me from doing anything that might aggrevate it. But sometimes, it's the sort of thing that follows me around all day, and sends screaming nerve impulses towards my toes everytime I'm not perfectly situated. Today looks like one of THOSE days.

*sighs* I was supposed to go to North Pole today to the laser factory with some art. And meet Sara for lunch. And see a shop about consignment (no appointment there, at least...). And have birthday dinner with my Mom.

I'm icing now, it's still early and I could bounce back. I should probably still NOT try driving around and doing things that could be irritating to it. (And going unfamiliar places with people I don't know well invariably is that... I never feel comfortable telling people 'I can't do that' when they assume I can do something easy - like pick up something off the floor, or lift something heavy, or twist to see something. I've never felt right telling an old guy, 'you lift it,' when to all appearances, I'm this perfectly healthy, fit-looking, late-twenties woman. And it's not like I'd wear a t-shirt saying 'I'm broken, please don't ask me to reach, twist, lift or bend.' I HATE telling people I can't do things. *grouse grouse grouse...* So more often than not, I just don't tell them, and do whatever it is, and suffer for it later.)

Can't sit anymore... gotta go set myself up on the couch, I think...

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