Ellen Million (ellenmillion) wrote,
Ellen Million

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What's the big deal?

I really hate offending people. I do. I will bend over *backwards* and stand on my fricking *head* to be nice to people. I try really hard to give supportive, nice comments when people are feeling down, though I don't always know what to say. I watch, or try to, everything I say with the idea that careless words can hurt.

On the other hand, I'm not going to let anyone walk all over me, or ever pretend to be facinated by something I'm not. There is a very fine balance between lying and being nice, and I know the difference. I'll be nice to a point.


I took someone off of my friends list a while ago, because of the sheer number of posts I had to read, and because, frankly, the topics weren't always of interest to me. I can understand how this can be offensive, I really can, but on the other hand, I'm not going to wade through a billion posts just because people might be offended that they aren't on my friends list. Indeed, there are people out there who are also offended that I haven't put them /on/ my friends list. I don't post anything friends-only, so it's not like I'm hiding anything from them.* And I generally still cruise over to my friends (not lj's definition of friends) pages to see how they're doing and keep up on their big news, IF I know who they are. But I'm not raptly interested in daily dramas. Sorry people. I have my own life, and LJ is not the defining point of it.

You are all, every one of you by default, wonderful people and I love you dearly. I am honored by my peek into your lives and personalities. Please, please, please understand that I am not always going to have you on my LJ friends list. That does not mean, in my book, that you are not friends. I would never even *consider* being offended because you decided my posts were not something you were interested in. If you've got a deep fascination with makeup and shoes and anime and country music, you might find my journal sadly lacking. I would never assume that you do not consider me a friend because you have no desire to read about my business dreams and whining about my back or burnt-out-monitor.

Similarly, if you would like to be in contact with me, do not assume I am going to notice your LJ post, even if you are on my friends list. I am, by nature, an affectionate person, and I love to give advice and comfort. But I skim, I miss weeks of posts, I am inundated with information and data. I've noticed that when I'm mentioned in absentia, it is almost always with the tag 'but she's really busy...' and it's sadly true. So are most of you. I will always, always take the time to answer an email sent, though. (Unless it gets lost... really, I'm not so rude as to ignore an email unless you tell me 'no reply needed.') If you want to get in touch with me, please, please, please, drop me an email! My work email is ellen @ designalaska.com (less spaces), and nothing would flatter me quite as much as someone asking me for specific advice or nebulous comfort. I don't mind if you don't, either, though.

Summary of this post: I have no control over you feeling offended, or however the hell you want to feel. But never, ever, ever assume that my intent /is/ to offend. I am not that kind of person.

*Okay, I have posted a few things friend-only... like the awful poetry that I find embarrassing, and few 'my back hurts and I'm grumpy' things. Believe me, you aren't missing anything.

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