January 13th, 2010

stupid people

Slog...

Tired... and slogging through artist pay. The only thing getting me through right now is to repeat 'this is the last time, this is the last time...' (Although I will still have prints, I won't be doing fair or Dragon*Con or other shows, which is where the worst of this huge timesink is... tallying every stupid little sticker royalty and .10 red x card sale.)

That this is the last time also makes me a little sad.

All of which, with the achy aftereffects of yesterday's studio spree, a generally unhappy tummy and some other items of minor personal irritation, have combined to put me in a thoroughly snarky, bitchy mood.

Approach with caution, or swing wide.
thud

Reminding myself

I have to keep reminding myself - this is the last time. This is the ONLY time that artist pay has been this difficult - I'm tallying royalties on every single freaking thing that I have left in stock (that's not a coloring book). I don't have to, but I think this will be the easiest way to be done already. For GOOD.

I have to keep reminding myself not to take things personally. Imagining slights where there are none is silly and counterproductive. I always get sensitive when I'm doing this task.

I have to keep reminding myself to do the best I can, and not constantly second-guess myself and doubt my answers. I'm not a superhuman, and no one is expecting me to be. Except me.

I have to keep reminding myself to stay on track. My brain wants to wander. It's tired, and cranky, and easily distracted.

I have to keep reminding myself that I'm nearly there. The task looks daunting, but I am through the worst already. Really.

I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not a bad person.

I have to keep reminding myself to breathe.