April 3rd, 2003

fairysquash

Answers

tarlia asked: If you get to go back to a certain point in your personal history and start over again, where would it be and why?

This one stumped me for a good long time.

I wouldn't change anything, I don't think. Because I have *everything.* I have a husband who loves me, a job that supports me, a career that I have confidence will take off eventually, my health (barring minor inconveniences), land, a wonderful pet, a house I can point to and say 'I built that!' and I've got *still* got a whole life in front of me.

But if I had to go back and change something... hmmm... I think I'd go back to the times when I was really young and change the fact that I could get away with things. I was an oddball child, youngest by 10 years, knew enough to intimidate most grownups, and no one ever caught me in my little white kid lies. I think it's made me subconsciously dishonest without recognition of consequences, and I really, really dislike that about myself. My first instinct is always a run-and-hide answer, and I've never really had to justify myself... until Jake. That makes a lot of conflict between us. I don't think about *why* I do things, I just fly by my seat, and I think I'd be a better person if I was more introspective and instinctively honest.

ravenkind asked:

1) What's your secret?

If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it? :P

2) HOW in the WORLD do you manage to DO it, woman? XD

Well, I like to start with good music, and turning down the lights, and oh! You didn't mean do IT, you meant DO it... ;)

Jake thinks I have a condition. He says my guilt gland is hardwired on, and that if I'm not working, I'm not having fun. I may be a touch manic depressive, too, but I've found that the way to pull out of the depressive days is to work, because I get depressed when I haven't accomplished anything. I multitask a lot. I do nearly all my writing on the sly at the day job. I draw while I'm watching TV or sitting in class. I take story notes constantly. And frankly, I don't think I really accomplish an ungodly amount. I don't have kids to occupy my time, and I don't do a lot socially, and instead of watching TV, I usually draw. I draw and write rather quickly... which often shows in my work, I fear - I haven't done anything I would actually consider 'finished' ever... and my business is my single passion. I don't really have other hobbies. I think there's been a healthy does of luck in there somewhere, too. Those are my initial thoughts, anyway.

fireborn asked:

What is one dream, goal, or plan that you used to have and really want, that you now find you no longer want, or have given up, and why?

Theatre. I wanted to sing and dance and act and the whole nine yards. But I came to realize that most theatre people aren't the type I want to hang out with, and that whole broken back thing puts a crimp on lots of dancing as a career.

And for the record, my favorite pizza is artichoke hearts, Italian sausage, fresh tomatoes and green olives with a pesto sauce.

I'll still accept questions.
fairysquash

Doomed?

Worked on a logo commission for Matt and Nicki last night until a migraine sent me reeling for bed. Miserable night.

Now, tired, headache-y, trying to psyche myself into an evening of work because that's what I've *got* to do. Have to email a bunch of people, finish those gawdamn contracts, get a pile of orders out, check and see if I've sold out of more colors/sizes of the Elfwood T-shirts (they're going faaast, people. Someone must have been plugging - not that I mind, quite the opposite!!). Have interesting new prospects from some respected artists that I'm dying to rope into EMG, and am scrambling to decide if we can take a two week vacation at the end of this month. *gulp* Still need to add Ursula's and Alethea's designs. And rewrite Marilyn's contracts. And add things to the database. And update email list. And... and... *gets dizzy*

And I have four new colored pencils I'm *dying* to use. A colorless blender... *Ellen looks longingly at clock. Remembers pile of business Ellen must do instead of playing with colorless blender and pouts*

I need a new personal gallery. My current one... well... sucks. It's old, stale work, badly laid out, and has a bunch of links I either want to kill or are already dead. Bad, bad form. It's on the list of things to do in my spare time. *dies laughing* Yeah. Right up there with knitting a sweater and finishing the plumbing.

I feel almost hysterical. Is this what 'doomed' feels like?