Roawr!
Two people stopped and offered their help, but I wasn't really interested in standing around watching them do what I could do, so I thanked them and sent them along. I had a cheater bar, so loosening the nuts was no trouble, and I've already put the car up on the jack several times now, and I have an amazing cold weather coat and fur hat, so I didn't even really get cold.
My phone, however, was not as tough as I am, and stops recognizing my SIM card when it gets too cold.
It was Sunday evening, so no one was open to take a tire to, so I put on the donut and took the car out of AWD (which requires moving a fuse under the hood) and limped home with my hazards on.
My car handles like crap with a donut and 2WD, but we got home safely.