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SCARRED FOR LIFE (spider warning)

OH. MY. GOD.



"Look at this!" Guppy told me, sitting in her chair eating a bagel with cream cheese. She had a ruffle of her skirt in her hands, and I thought she had cream cheesed herself. It wouldn't be the first time. But it was sort of fuzzy and stuck together... good grief, had I put it away dirty and it had MOLDED? Worst mother of the year award, here I come...

I shimmied the dress off of her and looked closer. It wasn't moldy, it looked more like an egg sac of something. A really BIG egg sac. With really big... seeds in it. Seeds that were... starting to WIGGLE.

I did the horrifying bug dance and immediately threw the dress in the sink and poured hot water and straight bleach all over it. The dress was cute, but it wasn't THAT CUTE. NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS THAT CUTE.

I had to scrape the stupid thing off with a spatula and wash it liberally down the drain and now it and everything from the nearest drawers in the closet are in the washer on the sanitize cycle.

I will be taking a shower and BLEACHING THE HOUSE now, thank you.

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Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
julnar
Sep. 4th, 2015 06:00 pm (UTC)
Ewwwww! I got grossed out just reading this (you did provide a fair warning, but I had to know - haha!)

Too bad all spiders experiences aren't like Charlotte's Web :)
ellenmillion
Sep. 4th, 2015 11:20 pm (UTC)
Charlotte's Web is just setting everyone up for disappointment. Not once has a spider written me a message. And I'm always looking hopefully for one.
sholio
Sep. 4th, 2015 07:17 pm (UTC)
Euuuuuuughhhh. (Of course I clicked on it. Who isn't going to click on it? XD)

I am generally okay with bugs and spiders -- I catch strays and put them outside, and they don't really bother me. But THAT is in a category all by itself. D: D: D: It's been kind of a spider-heavy year this year; now I feel like I should go pull out all my clothes and shake them out ...
ellenmillion
Sep. 4th, 2015 11:18 pm (UTC)
DON'T READ THIS is the best marketing ploy ever. Dang, I should have linked to my coloring books after the cut.

davesmusictank
Sep. 4th, 2015 07:23 pm (UTC)
Yuck. That is just gross!
ellenmillion
Sep. 4th, 2015 11:19 pm (UTC)
My skin is still crawling.
kelkyag
Sep. 4th, 2015 07:57 pm (UTC)
Miss Guppy is fine. You are fine. Surprise masses of spiderlings are alarming, but not as far as I know actually harmful.

Hugs and fusses, and I think you will feel better after the shower and washing the dress, but actually bleaching the house seems like overkill.
ellenmillion
Sep. 4th, 2015 11:17 pm (UTC)
My logical brain says you are quite right. My lizard brain says KILL IT ALL WITH FIRE.

I settled for scrubbing the shower (which needed it anyway) and then taking a long hot shower. I feel marginally better.
kelkyag
Sep. 5th, 2015 02:03 am (UTC)
Having a borderline phobic reaction to house centipedes, I very much understand wanting to kill it all with fire. Please don't burn your house down. :)
wyld_dandelyon
Sep. 5th, 2015 12:20 am (UTC)
Well, those spiders sure aren't going to protect you and Guppy from being eaten alive by mosquitoes!

Seriously, though, having had a mouse decide to hide from my cat _in_my_skirt_, I do understand the surprised overreaction.
dark_phoenix54
Sep. 5th, 2015 01:03 am (UTC)
arrrggggggggggghjjsjjle! I would have gone for the pulse rifles. After I got done peeing myself.

I once put a dress on that I hadn't worn in a while and went out. After a bit, I kept feeling a sharp, but small, pain in one of my boobs. It kept up. Finally I went to the bathroom to see what was in the dress- I figured a splinter or something was in the fabric- and found a couple of hatching spiders and they WERE NOT TINY. Those suckers were down the sink in a heartbeat and I proceeded to inspect every damn millimeter of that dress. Thankfully, no one else came into the bathroom.
ankewehner
Sep. 5th, 2015 05:16 am (UTC)
Aww, the poor babies. :(
imhilien
Sep. 5th, 2015 05:46 am (UTC)
Argh, ouch. I would have had a kill-it-with-fire!1! reaction, definitely. Especially when it's on clothes.
Alexander Mitchell
Sep. 5th, 2015 07:37 pm (UTC)
"I am Iniyo Tarantula. You killed my children. Prepare to die."
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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