Ellen Million (ellenmillion) wrote,
Ellen Million

SCARRED FOR LIFE (spider warning)


"Look at this!" Guppy told me, sitting in her chair eating a bagel with cream cheese. She had a ruffle of her skirt in her hands, and I thought she had cream cheesed herself. It wouldn't be the first time. But it was sort of fuzzy and stuck together... good grief, had I put it away dirty and it had MOLDED? Worst mother of the year award, here I come...

I shimmied the dress off of her and looked closer. It wasn't moldy, it looked more like an egg sac of something. A really BIG egg sac. With really big... seeds in it. Seeds that were... starting to WIGGLE.

I did the horrifying bug dance and immediately threw the dress in the sink and poured hot water and straight bleach all over it. The dress was cute, but it wasn't THAT CUTE. NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS THAT CUTE.

I had to scrape the stupid thing off with a spatula and wash it liberally down the drain and now it and everything from the nearest drawers in the closet are in the washer on the sanitize cycle.

I will be taking a shower and BLEACHING THE HOUSE now, thank you.
Tags: ew

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