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Yesterday when I went to take the van in to renew registration, the battery was dead. I would have replaced it, but it took me 20 minutes to figure out how to open the stupid hood, and by then monsterus minimus had had enough of waiting in her carseat.

Today, my car was ready (no axle problems! Cheap fixes!), so I hopped a ride with the husband to pick it up. This meant waking monsterus minimus up early. REALLY early. "I'm sleeping," she told me, when I went to get her. Still, she was pretty cheerful about being hustled out of bed, changed, dressed, fed, and strapped into the truck. "Ride in Papa's truck!" she said happily. "Up the driveway!"

We got the car, and went over to DMV to do the van registration. I think that 'DMV with a 2-year-old' is one of the levels of hell specified in Dante's Inferno. We were there an hour and a half, and she was... very two. I distracted her drawing on things (including herself), and reading books and playing with the various toys I had thought to tuck into my purse, but there were still several flights across the lobby, some highly wiggly behavior, and an extreme desire to help me fill out forms. When I finally got to the counter, they observed that my license was going to expire in five days, and suggested I renew it while I was there, instead of waiting through the line again. Yes, please, with choirs of angels. My photo looks a little harried, and I had to take my eye test twice because they accepted that it was very hard to focus on the little letters with someone doing calisthenics in my lap, but that's done, at least.

We popped by Papa at work, then went to the gym daycare. There were tears and wails when I went to leave, until one of the carers mentioned Frozen, and I watched a dozen small creatures from younger than Guppy to about 8 gather all the chairs and sit excitedly to watch the movie. Guppy was quite pleased with this, and riveted to the screen once she realized what was happening. She glanced over to watch me leave, but didn't budge from her chair.

I did a full workout and steam, and came back to find that the movie had been abandoned by all the children. Guppy was quietly watching the babies and nearly walked past me, then looked up. "You're the Mommy!" she said in delight. "You came back!"

One poor kid heard this, and echoed, "You're the Mommy?" very hopefully, zeroing in on me.

"Sorry kid, I'm not your Mommy," I explained. "But, hi!"

He wandered off, disappointed, and Guppy and I packed up to go to the store. "You came back!" Guppy repeated... for the entire trip to the store.

"Of course," I told her. "I love you! I'll always come back!"

"I wuv you," she repeated, which was the first time she'd said that. I figured it was just an echo, but she extrapolated. "I wuv Mommy. You came back!"


She charmed people at the store, mangled a few cheesesticks from the deli and ate some of my corndog. She fell asleep for the last ten minutes of our trip home, and was then convinced she needed no nap. I finally decided she might be hungry and put her in her high chair for some macachee and mamami (macaroni and cheese and salami).

"Macachee nose," she told me, while I was cooling the hardboiled eggs.

"Don't put your mac and cheese in your nose," I told her.

"Macachee NOSE," she repeated urgently. And gosh, she did sound sort of... stuffed up.

I had to use a flashlight to see it, but sure enough, a noodle in the nose. The suction bulb did nothing, because the noodle was oriented with airspace right through it, but I got her to "blow as hard as you can!" and POP! No more macachee nose.

I finally got her to collapse for a nap, and now I'm going to do my morning admin tasks and eat some food. My brain? Is fried.

Me: "What are you doing to the kitty?"
Guppy: "Hugging!"



( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 23rd, 2014 12:08 am (UTC)
Totally meltworthy.

Poor put-upon Velcro!
May. 23rd, 2014 04:01 am (UTC)
I could not love this entry more.
May. 23rd, 2014 04:31 am (UTC)
"You're the mommy! You came back!" So nice and clear. And it sounds like you got remarkably good behavior for a kid woken up way before her usual time.
May. 23rd, 2014 05:56 am (UTC)
Thank you for taking us along on these daily adventures. :D
May. 23rd, 2014 07:23 am (UTC)
That was so much fun to read. :)
May. 23rd, 2014 08:20 am (UTC)
May. 23rd, 2014 11:02 am (UTC)
I am reading this post AGAIN. It is a work of art.
(Deleted comment)
May. 25th, 2014 02:28 am (UTC)
seed corn fits noses too
We had a water table, but filled it with seed corn. Less stick y than rice, and when we're done, it goes out for the wild turkeys and wood ducks at the Bird of Vermont Museum.

However, when a certain daughter of mine was about 2, she put some up her nose.

**sigh** we didn't panic, she was Not Comfy, and she managed (with coaching) to eventually blow it enough out *while we were on the way to the nurses* that I could get to it.

Better out than in became the rule....
May. 27th, 2014 09:50 am (UTC)
Awww, your first "I love you!" I actually teared up a bit when I read that. Awwwwww :)
May. 27th, 2014 01:21 pm (UTC)
Happy Belated Birthday
Jun. 3rd, 2014 09:07 pm (UTC)
Aw! Your adventures in toddlerland just warm my heart!! Velcro looks less impressed with the hugging than Guppy does. :)
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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