This looks shiny. They carry them locally at Geek City, and I called and talked to the guy there for a while about them; they highly recommend them and are confident it will handle ACAD and CS with no problems at all. I would go buy it right now, except that they want $300 more for it than NewEgg does. I'd pay $50 more to keep my sale local. Maybe even $100 because I'd get it Right Now. But $300... urgh. Really, can't do that.
Okay, reformatting this sucker for now. See you on the other side... I hope.
Eta: Okay... Windows will not reinstall! I am going with 'laptop is borked' and finding my credit card...
Eta2: Windows installed. Updating, installing CS3, Avast and other bare minimum programs. New laptop ordered.