Ellen Million (ellenmillion) wrote,
Ellen Million
ellenmillion

Survived...

I drove into town today, and survived. The only incident I witnessed was far enough ahead of me not to change my patterns - a truck came out of an intersection too fast, swerved wider than they meant to, bounced off a snowbank, and went along their way. (A big white truck, rather like the one that last hit me, actually...)

But no major scares for me! My heartrate is back to normal, and while I feel sort of understandably hyperalert while driving, it's not a true panic state. It was good of me to get back into a car today, and I mailed a few things I needed to.

I finished reading the Upheaval through to the end...



And, it's not only not awful, I think I wrote something good. I cried, in a few places, and caught my breath in a few others, and there were no sections where I flipped pages just to get through it already... though there were several places where I left notes to myself indicating that I needed another scene here, or noting that I needed to set up these people earlier and a few bits like "insert something witty here." There's a subplot that I ran out of steam on, and it's just a series of 'add Afareiru's bit here once I figure out what that is.' He ties back in at the end, at least - there are just four or five middle scenes that need to happen. There's some poor old man who is a key figure in an escape scene who still has no name, and the cities are all still cityname1, cityname2, cityname3...

But I thought it was all generally in much worse shape than it actually is. There is a bit of a feeling towards the end that I knew where I was going and was in more of a rush to GET there than to finely craft the writing, but it can all pretty much be fixed in edits without major heartache or dismantling. I've re-written short stories that needed more structural work than I think this will require.

My biggest decision now is rating. It's a story about the end of a world - there is inescapable death. There is infidelity, betrayal, power struggles, rape, and a surprising amount of feel-good hope and optimism, at the end of it... I just need to decide how many harsh or sexy bits I actually want to show - and then decide if I'm even capable of writing a sex scene. I think I may be...

I'm not honestly sure how many of my beta-readers got through it - it was admittedly rough in a whole lot of places, and dumping 12 thousand words a week at them (while most of them were doing their own nanos!) on LJ is not the best way to present work. I'm also not sure if they'd agree with my (incredibly biased) assessment of its brilliance.

/blather.
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