Ellen Million (ellenmillion) wrote,
Ellen Million
ellenmillion

Thurs-not-good-at-being-daily

I've got an hour before I want to start drafting for the day, and thought I should update in general, for my own records, if not for any particular general interest!

My tummy muscles and calves are complaining bitterly. After 5 weeks of pretty sedentary lifestyle, Tuesday's bellydance class is definitely making itself felt. I've got performance prep tonight, though I will take it easy, and I think I may want to get back into working out at the gym, too. I was lifting a full jar of juice yesterday and my arm started to shake. *hangshead*

I'm, in general, a little overwhelmed by everything I've got stacked up to do - I've got a phone meeting with a client tonight and need to get their database set up before that happens, and the entire webpage project is just... huge. So huge. So dauntingly complex that I'm scared to do any of it, even while I'm aware that's all that fear is most of what is keeping it from being done.

So much fear.

No... maybe not fear. Doubt.

What am I doing, really? Who do I think I am? Can I really pull this off? And if I can... do I want to? 'What if it works' is as scary as 'what if it doesn't'.

I think I may spend a little pre-drafting time cleaning my studio. The endless clutter isn't helping my frame of mind.


Also, completely random - hey, my hair is as long as my icon again!
Tags: daily, doubt
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