Ellen Million (ellenmillion) wrote,
Ellen Million

A few wednesdaily mini-rants

1. Christmas music, like the national anthem, should be sing-able. I realize that you are a pop star and feel the need to embellish and personalize and justify the obscene amounts of money you make or whatever, but please, SING THE NOTES. I would be more impressed by your ability to follow the score than to drag phrases out to twice their original length by cramming a lot of fancy stuff in that just mucks up the feeling of the song anyway.

2. I am stupid. The number one reason I don't send cards and gifts most years? I cannot, cannot, cannot remember what I've already sent. Seriously. I love to tuck extras and goodies into orders, as well as send out surprise love boxes, but then we get to Christmas and I think 'I should send so-and-so such-and-so present,' then freeze because I totally can't remember if I've already sent them that something, or if they've ordered it. All I can think about is how retarded I'm going to look when they open their box and think, 'gee, why did Ellen send me another one of these? So much for feeling special.' So, uh, the reason you have not received anything from me is because I am stupid. Please believe that I would have sent it if I could remember that I hadn't already.

3. Oh post office, why are you such a tease? I spent valuable fractions of my day waiting in line with a package slip. I'm expecting many exciting things! Boxes from family and friends! Pears from Harry and David! What do I get? Shipping tube ends. In a slightly squashed box. And a utility bill. Post office haul for the day? Fail.

4. Oh, and health care. I was actually incensed, reading the bill summaries yesterday. It feels like an open letter from congress to the insurance companies: Dear scumbag insurance companies, we realize that you've preyed on hopeless people and behaved in an unethical fashion but we're going to pass legislation that makes everyone buy one of your accounts, slap you lightly on the wrist, tax the hell out of everyone who isn't impoverished (or in one of the states that we made deals with) and solve none of the problems you've created. Love, Congress. Honestly, it feels like some of the things we cackle over at Torn World - we're all about the let's give them a convoluted system that creates lots of class tension and encourages corruption, because that's fun to write about. Except that this isn't just a story, and you can't mail them poisonous butterflies.

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